the-romantic-dominant:

How To: Make Cum Taste Sweet

I recently read if he eats pineapples and cranberry that a man’s semen tastes sweeter.

That’s downright ridiculous.

My cum, if it were on a restaurant menu, it would look like this:

“TRD Cum (market price). A very salty, pseudo-liquid fluid with the consistency and texture of watery tapioca, blended with the faint aroma of chlorine. Served warm.”

Let’s face it. Cum is about as appetizing as Lutefisk.

But I’m not.

I’m a steak dinner with creme brûlée, a 300 dollar bottle of red, all served on white tablecloths.

So this is how you make my cum taste delicious:

Want Me.

In your fucking bones. Feel it in the deepest recesses of your soul. And when you bring me to a halt, and I make that face that only you get to see, own every last ounce of my being.

Take me in. Love it. Devour me. Convince yourself that all food that isn’t salty and warm tastes like shit and that I am feeding you the best thing you ever had. And make me believe it.

For fuck’s sake, make me believe it.