Can I ask what your opinion on aftercare is? Not necessary? Not talked about enough? Etc

exoticeva:

your-only-sir:

Aftercare. The other 50% of BDSM that gets no real coverage. It’s probably not talked about enough on here as people are looking for the ‘thrill’ of a post, rather than the afterthoughts.

My view on it is quite serious, it’s integral to the Dom Sub dynamic. Yes I’m guilty too of not posting enough about it, I made one post stressing the importance of it. I have written a longer passage about it but not posted it yet.

In my experience there isn’t enough good aftercare. Be it with real life relationships and long distance/online ones.

I’m not calling out anyone in particular or saying it’s a certain group. The good Dom’s know who they are.
With so many guys taking ‘Dominance’ as a lifestyle choice, there are a lot of people playing Dom without the knowledge of what happens after a session. The lack of experience and prior knowledge, mixed with Subs or Littles who are also new to the community, makes for some very dangerous situations.

Subs getting left to their own thoughts after a serious session is no good for any anxiety or depression, that’s a big concern. Sure some subs like to feel worthless and be degraded, even left for a while after being used, but only a small percentage will be fine with no aftercare.
There is a huge drop from subspace for many after a session, and bringing them back into the present reality is important. It’s not just tending to bruises or other wounds, it’s their heart and mind that needs attention too.
Showing them they are safe and very much wanted and loved will ease any doubts and show them self worth. It’s also an amazing time to be intimate within a loving relationship, you don’t always get that in a vanilla one.

If your Dom is fucking the shit out of you, spanking or torturing you then just falling asleep, he’s doing it wrong (in my opinion).
With every up there is a down.
Bathing a sub, checking damage and bringing her back to reality is very important, even after a light session. The submission is your gift and you need to make sure that gift is treated with as much respect as your Sub gives you.

I’m sure some people will disagree with me and I hope the good Dom’s will comment on their aftercare and thoughts.

Thank you for your question and be safe out there.

Showing them they are safe and very much wanted and loved will ease any doubts and show them self worth.

☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼