A Christmas Story: The Vibrator at the Airport Edition
So. When I was coming home this past Christmas from school I, of course, had to make sure I had all of my toys with me. Because, well, as we’ve already established I’m a bit of a sex toy addict. (Woot.)
But I have this one toy, it’s basically a mini hitachi, that has very, very strong vibrations. (Like…mega strong.) And I’d left it out while I was packing the night before I left because I knew I was going to be expected to use it that night before I went to bed when I was permitted to cum.
So the next morning I had to leave my house at 6:30am to begin my very, very long journey to Chicago. I (of course) overslept and when I jumped out of bed to grab my stuff I just threw the toy straight in my suitcase without really thinking about it.
Flash forward to hours later when we’re boarding the plane for takeoff. I’m sat in my seat, happy as can be, and all of a sudden a flight attendant comes down the aisle. She asks me to confirm my name, which I do, and describes a suitcase to me and asks if it’s mine. I confirmed that it was. Then she says: “I’m going to need you to come with me.”
And so she takes me off the plane, all the way back out to the gate, where there’s a security person standing there with my suitcase and he goes: “Ma’am, your bag is vibrating. Do you know what it is?”
I’d fucking forgot to take the damn batteries out of the thing before I threw it in my bag that morning and my suitcase was vibrating like it was a fucking massage chair or something.
“Well, sir, that would be my vibrator,” I told him. “Or one of them, anyway.”
Which had the nine security guards, gate agents, and flight attendants standing around me stammering and stuttering and blushing and the like.
So they made me open my bag and turn the thing off and everything was hunky dory after that.
But I was the fucking American in another country who delayed the plane from taking off because they had to bring me back out to the gate so I could turn my sex toy off because they thought it was a bomb or something. Because, you know, these are the things that happen in my life.
Mwahahahaha.
Moral of the story? Make sure you take the damn batteries out of your vibrator before you travel, kittens. Because otherwise, you’re going to be responsible for delayed travel plans for many, many people.
Mischief's Muse 