Communication
I lay with my head on Sir’s lap. It’s an informal ritual, done most days. Lap time. We hangout on our phones, chat, relax.. and usually circle around to talking about our dynamic. How it’s going. How it’s feeling. What has happened, and what might be in the future. I still struggle at times. I search for words that don’t make me blush. He’s patient, but doesn’t let me off the hook. “Do you want to text me?” he sometime teases.
I often text him regarding my needs, my desires, my thoughts about us. It’s so much easier to craft my words. And I long ago made a pact with myself that if I think it, I type it. And if I type it, I send it. That way shame has no time to ruin my message, to make me hide. He used to allow me to trade messages back and forth. Now he often puts me on my knees and makes me read my missive out loud. It can still be uncomfortable at times, to face myself. To hear my words. But it also feels safe, and we grow stronger for it.
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