Every submissive knows that obedience is part of the package. He says, and you do. It doesn’t matter if you’re a brat who drags your feet, or if you’ve been waiting eagerly on your knees for his order, the end result in a successful D/s relationship is obedience.
It’s easy to become complacent as a submissive, but remember compliance alone is not enough. Service must mean more than obedience. It’s my belief that as submissives, you are obligated to seek out ways to please your Dominants. You must go above and beyond the required, and display your desire to serve to truly be successful.
A practiced and caring Dominant spends a great deal of time thinking about the needs of his submissive. He evaluates and contemplates, he plans and executes. He devotes his time, energy, and attention to the care of his submissive, and it seems a natural reciprocation that submissives learn to do the same.
They must actively seek out chances to show their affection and desire to please. It may be as simple as sending a text to say “I’m thinking of you today,” or an extra session of training above what is required. It may be ironing the suit you know he needs for work tomorrow, or one of a million other things, but the common thread is finding ways to let him know you care, without being asked.
It can be hard as a submissive to take initiative, it’s easy to grow complacent and rely on our tasks and orders to display desire. But do not settle for the bare minimum, do better, show your Dominants that service is not an obligation, but a craving.
This is SUCH a good read.
I love doing this. It’s one of my favorite things to do, to go above and beyond in affection and desire to please. But it never seems to get appreciated. Let your sub know you have noticed and appreciate her throwing herself into going above and beyond to show she cares & wants to please you. 💋🖤
So well put. And pay attention to the last part doms and daddies. Appreciate that shit or it won’t be there for long.
It’s A Relationship Thing – Thoughtful Thursday
A D/s relationship, as any relationship, is not one sided. If your “submission” is in effect only when your Dom/me is being “Domly” by giving you tasks, enforcing rules, planning and devising scenes while you go about your merry way doing everything but submitting, asking for guidance and reinforcing your submission by actions described here, I don’t know what to tell you.
“He says, you do.” That means a submissive puts forth the effort independent of their Dom/me. Perhaps some Dom/mes enjoy the idea of having to keep their “foot on the neck” of their submissive in order for that sub to be in their place and do what they’ve been told. I would surmise that those are the relationships which are short lived. That kind of Dynamic is exhausting for the Dominant and will only generate frustration for the submissive, as it will engender inconsistency. No one can maintain that level of vigilance over time.
What @h10gage so aptly stated is true for both sides of the slash:
“Appreciate that shit or it won’t be there for long.”
A “tit for tat” kind of mentality can be dangerously at work here, almost a pettiness of keeping score. Maybe it’s tumblr, maybe it’s emotions jaded with disappointment and deception. People can easily hide who and what they are for a period of time, infatuation can carry a relationship for that distance as we forgive the missteps and shortcomings, fawning over what we think has been discovered: “He’s soooooo Domly,” “She’s so willing,” “He’s suck a pretty sissy boy,” “Her tasks are so wickedly diabolical.”
The newness combined with desperation in our search for “The One” raises the stakes of each relationship after being disappointed in the last. We lose the point of the power exchange: trusting our partner to put our wants and needs over theirs.
Isn’t that what the OP is about: a submissive doing things to please her Dominant? Isn’t that what every relationship is about? Pleasing our partner? D/s just has a different expression of the action.
If you find you only get what you need, want and desire when you put a deposit of time and effort into the relationship, I suggest that you need to re-evaluate what is really happening.
Obedience
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Mischief's Muse 