Low Protocol

instructor144:

Protocol is the collection of rules, constraints, forms of address, and similar things that are common (though by no means universal, let’s be clear on that) in D/s relationships. The concept of “high protocol” and “low protocol” evolved back in the old days in the D/s community, back when we used to sext each other by carving our naughty messages on cuneiform tablets with a pterodactyl beak. It has largely fallen into disuse among the young, though I do see a heartening trend towards more protocol-driven relationships, with the primary drivers of that trend being submissives, interestingly enough, perhaps because the submissive brain tends to respond well to the structure and predictability of protocol.

High protocol is the collection of expected behaviors, address, and personal conduct when out among the D/s community; for example at a BDSM club or event. In other words, when you’re in an environment made up of members of the “tribe.” It was a lovely thing to see in action when I was a newly-hatched, wide-eyed baby Dom, possessing an almost Japanese elegance and subtlety. Not too many people go to such clubs these days (the Internet has made them somewhat unnecessary) but many relationships, both IRL and LDR, are “high protocol” relationships.

Now, what is “low protocol”? This is the behavior of D/s people when they are out among the vanillas. In a protocol-driven relationship, you simply can’t have your protocol turned all the way to 11, heads will turn and tongues will wag. “With respect, Sir, please choose from the menu for me” or “With respect, Master, may I have a glass of wine with dinner” are not the sort of thing one does, it has a tendency to make the vanillas nervous. Hence, low protocol …

Before venturing out among the vanillas, the two people put their heads together and formulate “low protocol” ways of communication that won’t arouse suspicion among friends, family, and the general public. So, for instance, the submissive might casually say “Hmmm, I can’t decide between the Cobb Salad and the Heart Attack Burger …” to which the Dominant might reply, “Now honey, you know that burgers don’t set right, you’re probably going to want the salad.” “I’m debating whether I want a glass of wine with dinner or not.” “I think one glass with dinner is a great idea, I’ll have one as well.”  See how subtle and innocuous that is? To everyone else, it’s a casual exchange in a restaurant; to the couple, they just succeeded in handling meal choice and alcohol permissions in a way that doesn’t raise eyebrows. If you put your heads to it, I’m sure you can come up with other clever ways of communication like this. It enables the couple to keep the power-exchange dynamic in place when out in the general public, and here’s a little secret: low protocol when out in public is hot as fuck. When done with skill and artistry, it has all the heat of a flirtation that no one else but the two people sees happening.